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Monday, April 5, 2010

Turning the other cheek

There once was a man employed at a Northern University on a temporary contract in staff development. Actually lots of people have, but this is a story he told.



When he was fairly new in post, somebody in the manner of University switch boards put a lady through who wanted to send a copy of her magazine in which the University had put a job advert. Why she got his number, is one of the obscurities of University switch boards and people trying to negotiate the fact that there is not one central number. I don't know whether she had dialled two numbers in the wrong order, or if she had been passed pillar to post as people tried to guess the right person.

Anyway as he was new (maybe that should be especially as he was new) he did not have the number of the correct person to hand. At which point she turned on the snot. She made him feel as if she was in some lah-de-dah operation in the South of England with swanky offices and all creature comforts and he should just jump at her behest. Southerners who try and make northerners feel small don't go down well. He obviously had assertiveness training as he managed to after some time to get off the phone with the promise to ring her back.

He can remember doing two finger signs at the phone after he put it down.

Then, in his words, he "took control"

He looked up the number required, which was in personnel and in the next block of offices  but not something he knew at the time. He rang the lady back, said he now had the address which he passed onto her all the time being as courteous as courteous, even offering to email the address to her so that she would have it in the future.

When he had finished the lady apologised for her earlier behaviour, which is what he had intended her to do.

It's a great story as it is not one we hear told very often. The guy in "taking control" meant that he did not let the ladies unprofessional attitude rile him into unprofessional behaviour. However the maintenance of professional behaviour here seems right in line with Jesus' instruction to turn the other cheek and walk the extra mile. I am not claiming he was a Christian but he was repeating Christ's teaching to a secular group.

So is the commands about forgiveness or about not letting others determine how you respond and your mood? Is it about freedom or forgiveness?

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